Note

I'd be damned if I'd say I'm happy.

I'm not.

Down.

Helpless.

Worthless.

I can die today without anyone ever knowing.

Unnoticed.

Empty. 

Insignificant fool.

First Of Firsts

Two years since our first date. A lot has changed.

A semi-romantic with both our best feet forward dinner date from two years ago, to a lazy I-don't-want-to-get-outta-bed-but-still-managed-to Sunday because growling tummy with our exchange of morning breaths as personal greetings just a couple of hours ago.

Jack's Ridge from two years ago, to Taps of this morning.

Best office clothes on with a little make-up retouch from two years ago, to greasy faces with pambahay clothes of today.

Ceaseless talking from two years ago because getting-to-know, to casual yet comfortable silences of today.

From I think I would like to know you better, to I think I'd want to spend the rest of my days with you forever.

First date, first photo together

(March 27, 2014)

Crickets

It was dark, a little after midnight, in your room while we were trying to explore each other's bodies. Both half-dressed, you on top of me. We stared at each other's eyes, trying to connect our souls and leave the talking to them, as our mouths were pressed to each other, my tongue exploring yours. We closed our eyes.

Your lava lamp was the only source of illumination. I saw how you looked at me the way you never did before, I knew in that moment you were to open your mouth to tell me something. I turned my face away, and said "No."

I went home before sunrise, with tears falling down my cheeks, and knew that it was the last of you and I.