What About Death?

click photo source

I've often dreamt about death, a friend's death, my parents', siblings', and of course, my death. And whenever I wake up from these dreams, I always find myself crying in bed. Sad because it seem so real while I was sleeping and at the same time, happy because God has given me another day to live. After wiping my tears off, I get up and check my family if they're still breathing.


The truth is, I've always been thinking about my death. What could happen next the moment I die? Will I become like those ghosts who show themselves to different persons? Or will I go to heaven? Will it be peaceful? I've got a lot of questions to ask about death yet no one could really answer them for me because I cannot just talk to a dead person or a ghost and yea, it would scare me to death, so I wouldn't bother. And I'm not yet ready to die. I've never thought of suicide or putting an end to my life. I'm too afraid to do it myself, and there's no backing out in death.


I also think about it even when I'm awake. And it scares me, the feelings get mixed up. Thinking about leaving my family and friends forever is something I'm not ready to do yet, not this time. I haven't done so much about my life yet, I have my dreams, aspirations and I feel like I haven't lived my life to the fullest :)


Before I die, I have a to-do list and this is not in order:
1. a world tour (ok, I am faaaar from a celebrity or a singer who goes on tour, but I do want to do this before I leave the planet)
2. a job after I graduate ( and become successful in it, of course)
3. to become a lawyer? I've always wanted to become one but.... :)
4. I have to become rich first before I get to have number 1 on my list
5. I badly want to have a car, my own car
6. a house? a home :)
7. to give my parents back what they deserve to have ( this should go 1st, I believe)
8. help the family
9. a boyfriend? errr.. lol
10. marry (uhh? :D)
11. get myself a good camera
12. say sorry to everyone whom I've hurt and make peace with them
13. thank everyone whom I've met along the way who helped me become who I am
14. ........


These are the only things that I can think of at the moment, but I know I can make the list go longer because I still want to do a lot of things before I die.


And I am still a virgin, you know what that means. (laugh, laugh, laugh)


Classes begin tomorrow, and I might be a little busy for the next six weeks but I'll still try to update you, blog,


Live your Life! :D
Enjoy the week!