Strange attraction

Wandering in a strange place always gives that feeling of excitement and fear. Excitement for the chance of exploration yet fear of the unknown. But if you let yourself free and put fear in a tiny box, there could be more to discover of that strange land and of yourself.
So there I was, walking, looking around. Fear accompanied me, kept in the side pocket of my old black cardigan. Although I was wearing dark clothes, an oversized black tee, black skinny pants, my cardigan, and the exception, my tan colored Keds, I felt so light as if I only have me and my thoughts, unable to decipher which was real and not, I left it like that. Without a particular direction I trusted my feet to take the lead. The road was poorly lit, I barely saw what lay a few yards ahead even with my eyeglasses but still I went on. I came across an old man collecting old coins. I didn't bother looking since coins never had my interest. Some passersby took a halt maybe just out of curiosity and like me, just went on.
Finally, a crossroad! I had three good choices and without thinking, I automatically turned left as if some negative pole of a magnet attracted to the positive pole of that narrow road. I can always go back, I thought. There were stores and small to medium-sized houses. The road was fairly lit compared to the former. About 6 blocks ahead stood a waiting shed beside a slightly tinted old telephone booth. Was there a person inside? I couldn't tell but I was certain something kept moving. I moved forward, and finally saw it, a young man was on the phone in the booth. I decided to walk towards the shed and sat at a long bench. A few minutes passed and he was done and went out.
Wow! He was one attractive young man! Dark brown hair, deep eyes I was about to drown the moment I saw them, and his nose looked perfect. He was wearing a plain white shirt, a jacket about the same as his hair color, black pants, and a pair of Vans sneakers. just my type I thought. Did I hear myself right? Just my type? I threw my thoughts away and stared at the light post a few yards away. I love light posts.
I heard my heart beat faster as I saw him sat on the same bench two feet distant. If he had heard my thumping heart I'd be very embarrassed. I heard him murmur something but didn't dare look. He might just be talking to himself like what I do most of the time, right? But then he said something louder again and felt that he was talking to me so I turned and smiled. 'I've been waiting for a cab for 30mins now but not one passed by without a passenger.' I just nodded. 'Are you also waiting for one?' He asked. 'No, sir.' I answered. I could have said yes because I was a bit tired and could have been lost but anyway. He nodded, then came silence. I became more at ease. Silence was always a friend of mine.
He got up, took a step towards me then sat just a few inches beside me. God, my heart beat faster and louder I almost couldn't breathe! 'That telephone booth has been my favorite since I was in grade school. That's where I call my parents to tell them I'm home before we had our own telephone line. I live nearby. Sometimes, just so I can take a stroll, I walk all the way from our house and use that to phone my girlfriend...' After he said 'girlfriend' I didn't hear what went after, my ears chose to become shut. My heart sank. But why? I just met this man! I don't even know him! He could be a killer or a rapist just trying to play cool to get me! I told myself to calm down and prepare to run just in case.
'So, are you also living nearby?' He asked.
'No, but I've been here a few times already.' I lied. I did not want to give him the idea that I've walked a good distance now and I'm kind of lost. I live next town but just got curious so I got out the bus and tried to check what's in here.
'Oh. I also thought so. I've never seen you around here before.'
And why would he even notice? I'm almost like invisible to many. I've kept myself that way. But why am I upset? Ever since I heard him say girlfriend I pushed myself away, not physically, though.
'My girlfriend died 5 months ago. We've been together for almost three years now. But a plane crash took her life.'
'I'm sorry to hear that' was all I can say. But it made me more comfortable talking to him after he said that, but I was really sorry to know how their relationship ended.
A cab was heading towards us, I was half hoping it was occupied. How rude of me but I still wanted our nice chat to go on and on. It was a little past 6 pm but I didn't mind.
It was empty! The cab! My heart sank again, this time deeper. I didn't want him to leave yet. He got up, about to raise his arm and hail the cab but didn't. I got confused. Why?
'I thought you were waiting for a cab? It said 'vacant' but you didn't...' He stopped me.
'I could stay a little longer. It's still early anyway.'
That moment, I knew I was attracted to this good looking stranger.

Thank you. Yes, you.

Year 2012 has passed by so quickly. I remember myself trying to count the months, days left some time ago. I was not in haste, but I could just be too excited to go jumping on New Year’s Eve wishing for a few more impossible centimeters.

The sole purpose of this post is really to acknowledge the people who have left an indelible mark in me for the past year (and even years back)because I never had the chance to do it personally. I will never be me without all of you. (This could get a little too mushy. Yea)

To my former officemates/friends in PPPI: For making my first job experience worth reminiscing, for the simple joys even during our busiest days, for all the lessons learned and relationships built, I thank you. It was a year well spent with all of you (karaoke nights, heart-to-heart talks at MTS, overtime, revelations, friendships, opening my eyes to the real world, that basketball game, stress, overeating, acceptance of our different personalities, serious and professional moments, etc

To you who accompanied me to MV LOGOS Hope in Cebu: Thank you, I learned a lot from you-how relationships become real and bogus-you made me realize things

To you who never had the courage to… : thank you for keeping my hopes high

To you who won a tiny Taz stuffed toy for me through shooting balls: I never thought I’d meet a very good man like you at a very odd place. You still made friends w/ me after knowing how rude I was/am (I am really sorry for that), made me laugh really freaking hard every freaking moment possible, I will forever treasure our friendship

To the few friends I met in USEP: I never would have gotten through the 1^st semester without you. I miss sleeping in class with you. Haha! Thank you!

To you who gave me an old pink bracelet and that bouquet of flowers on Xmas eve: I know our friendship will never end, we may or may not meet again in the future, but you’ll always have that tiny space in me. I thank you a lot for whatever it is that we had

 "we keep blaming it on circumstance..." Night Drops - UDD

To my high school/uni-intestined friends: I will forever love you all my life, you know who you are, besh…ets. That night spent with you on the first day of 2012 meant a lot to me, my forever most genuine friends

To my college family, my 2^nd family: we’ve shared our ups and downs for more than 4 freaking years which made the relationship even stronger. Minsan lang tayo makumpleto, and I’ve no idea when we’ll ever hangout complete again, but I still love you all to bits and pieces

To the TIGIs (Kah, Raissa, Arel, and Jean) where I’ve managed to squeeze myself in:  we only hangout rarely but still we find time even in ‘your’ busy schedules (hehe), thank you for the friendship, I’ve always loved our company

To the two lovely ladies who never hesitate to do crazy things with me and still manage to pull themselves together (without me haha), Ilai and Jamz: we may have the most complicated friendship ever, but who the hell cares? I still love you. And thank you for just being you

 
 To my best friend, Kariza, who hates me for calling her with her real name and prefers to be called Krissie instead or ‘Langga’ most of the time: I can’t thank you enough for everything. You’ve accepted me for who I really am. You know when and when not to talk to me which I truly value a lot being aware how bipolar-esque I am.  You always know how my mood swings are to be handled, the introvert and extrovert (?) in me. I can even say that you know me more than I know myself. I thank you for not leaving me, ever, even when you were on review for your board exams, you still made me feel that you never went away when we were really miles apart. You know how I never became a perfect best friend to you, I was like your exact opposite. I may even be the worst, but you stayed by my side. You’re my strength, my sister from another mother, my other mother, my partner in crime. I love you and you know that

Ps. You’re getting meaner, engineer, more like me, but nah, I still love you to death

To my dearest family: I thank you and I love you so much every day, all the days of my life. Enough said

To the Supreme Being: I thank you big time

To music: Thank you for the company all throughout the year

To myself: we will have a lot to talk about later