Where would I be if not here? What if I took the chances I just let slip when I was younger? What if I developed a passion for writing and made it the foundation of all the choices I've made in life? I could have been a journalist now. Or an editor. But no, it couldn’t have been me.

What if I took interest in the medical field before? Back in high school I once mentioned that I would be taking up nursing in college, it was quite the thing back then. But it was something I have not really pondered on.

I finished high school without any clear goal  in mind. My NCAE results said a major in Psychology or Social Work would suit me. Psychology was my first choice when I applied for a university I had eyed on, but my college entrance exam results made me qualify for a major  in Communication Arts. Maybe I was really made for the arts. But maybe not. It was a last minute decision, I enrolled in a different university and got a major that was totally alien for me: Accounting.

I ended up flunking a 6-unit major subject in 1st semester of my second year, the only failing final grade I got in my whole university life, which eventually forced me to shift: a major in Management Accounting. I loathed every moment of it. I knew it wasn't really for me but I didn't take it as an opportunity to shift to a different field.

I was no brilliant kid at school. I had no awards received, in the academe or not. I was an average kid who just wanted to get through. I had no sport. I joined clubs merely for the sake of it. Maybe if I had continued my performance in grade school (yes, I see that smirk on your face), I would have been a better student. But who's to blame…

I don't know. I regret things, but I also don't. Maybe career-wise, it's more of my pessimistic side that's overpowering right now, especially in my current status: unemployed. But I've had no regrets in all the people I've met and known along the way, they've made me who I am.

I've landed an office job two weeks after our graduation day. It nearly consumed me. I quit after a year and ended up in another office job, after a year of rest (and gaining my 18 units in graduate studies which I was never really interested in). Then again, I quit after two years in the banking industry.

Right now, I'm wasting my time trying to reflect on what the hell do I really want to do with this life and overthink a lot, lot. And also wanting to tend my own vegetable garden and give you good food to eat.