Fucked Up Plan

Do you know how it feels when you've planned and prepared for this one event then it gets fvcked up on the day? FML


Today, I was supposed to hangout with my closest high school friends. I've planned about it a few days ago cause I badly miss them and we haven't spoken to each other for a while now. So I told them to come over to my place and I'll take care of the 'drinks' and they can just bring some food.

But just last night, one of them said that she wouldn't be able to make it because of her sudden trip to some place, And so I said it was OK, cause the others can still come. So, the moment I woke up, I sent a text to everyone of they're really coming just to make sure.

You already know what comes next.

I just feel so fvcked up.

It's just that I've waited for this time for us to get together and then it gets canceled because of some reasons. Seems like they're not taking it seriously. I just feel so bad about it. It's not like this never happened before, cause I've also organized a get together for us 5months ago and the same thing happened, but this time it feels a lot more awful.

Yes, I just want to rant about it.

Have a pleasant weekend :)

FML

Just when I finished writing a loooong blogpost to give a little update, the webpage crashed without saving what I've written. FML even more


*Have a great day ahead of you.

It's just that I... do not know.

I get really moody these past few days. Unstable. Unable to think properly. I often convince myself that there's nothing wrong with me, but I know there is. There's something that bothers me seriously. I tend to forget it at times but when I am alone and there's nothing to do but scratch my head, it pops up. Just like a computer warning of a virus or something.

The big problem is, I do not fvcking know what on earth is bothering me. What's wrong with me? Is this normal? Or maybe I am just denying the things that make my self forget the people that I have, the things that make me feel so alone. I kinda need some serious help in here.

Vacation is finally here yet I haven't done anything that's summer-ish/vacation-ish. I am looking forward to seeing my old friends again. There's something about them that keeps me secured, remembered, and loved. Talking about old friends, one of my closest boy friends and I were talking about law school. And I was like "err, my father wants me to, I am considering that" which made me feel guilty. At this point in my life, I still do not know what I want. What I want to do with myself.


*I need no sympathy, please. I just needed to get this thing off me so I can breathe.*

FO!

You know what sucks big time? It's when you and your closest friend/s cut the tie between you and the other/s. 

We call that FRIENDSHIP OVER.

I hate it big time thinking that friends should be for each other no matter what happens. If it's over, then maybe you weren't really friends at all. I've been to a couple of FO moments, and I tell you, it's a disaster. I don't want it to happen to me again. It hurts like hell because I value friendship so much that losing a friend is like losing a BIG part of me.

I LOVE MY FRIENDS

AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANY OF THEM

NOT ONE.

but if I do, and I've done my all to save it,

then there's nothing I can do but to accept the fact that my friend's better off without me.

* May God bless my friends :)