Approximately 90 days.
How would you feel if you were given three more months to live? How would you spend it? I bet some of us would want it to be planned, connect with whoever we want to give thanks to, to ask for forgiveness, to show love, or just to do the little things to those people around us and leave pretty memories as we go.
But what if only those people around you know that you only have three months to live?
This idea has been bothering me since yesterday, when my family and I had a short visit at the hospital where my uncle (my father's cousin) has been staying for a couple of days now. I've been trying to keep myself busy to stop myself from thinking about it for it will only crush my heart more.
With my uncle's deteriorating body getting more palpable, I never thought that his condition had come this far. I was only thinking of high fever + old age (but he's only 61 or 62) + some bacterial infection in the stomach area. But when I asked my father about his situation, on what is it that he's suffering from, I got lost in myself. He is suffering from cancer, colon cancer to be more specific. And he might also be suffering from bone cancer, too, already having a crack on his spine area.
I couldn't even breathe properly. I wanted to help him breathe. I wish I could.
Dec 12, 2011
Dec 4, 2011
old and young
21. For a woman's age, it is the time when she is to be fully-recognized as a lady. Even a clothing company for ladies is named after it, Forever 21.
Twenty-one. And I feel old. Every time I see students in their school uniform, I feel a lot older. I see my grade school Alma Mater every working day and I feel old. I realize that I already am working, I feel real old. I see any of my siblings growing, I am old.
Some may say I've missed a part, or maybe a lot, of a post-teen-pre-adult life. The partying 'til dawn, drunk-dancing, drunk-driving, smoking weed, boyfriend cuddles, romantic shizz, and a whole lot more of what you may call fun. Yes I didn't get to experience them. I am boring, I know it, and I admit it.
But I'm not because I chose to spend more of my precious time with my real friends (I'm clingy) and my family (a lot more clingy). I prefer intimacy: long talks with anyone from the family, tea time with my sister or my best friend, a walk with myself along the streets of the city, a visit at an old friend's house, or just hangout with the few close friends that I have. These are a few, yet the best, things that make me happy and say that I'm young. Young for not having experienced what most of my age have had.
Twenty-one. And I feel old. Every time I see students in their school uniform, I feel a lot older. I see my grade school Alma Mater every working day and I feel old. I realize that I already am working, I feel real old. I see any of my siblings growing, I am old.
Some may say I've missed a part, or maybe a lot, of a post-teen-pre-adult life. The partying 'til dawn, drunk-dancing, drunk-driving, smoking weed, boyfriend cuddles, romantic shizz, and a whole lot more of what you may call fun. Yes I didn't get to experience them. I am boring, I know it, and I admit it.
But I'm not because I chose to spend more of my precious time with my real friends (I'm clingy) and my family (a lot more clingy). I prefer intimacy: long talks with anyone from the family, tea time with my sister or my best friend, a walk with myself along the streets of the city, a visit at an old friend's house, or just hangout with the few close friends that I have. These are a few, yet the best, things that make me happy and say that I'm young. Young for not having experienced what most of my age have had.
And I guess I'll be staying young for a while. Maybe, forever.
I see me wearing lipstick. Damn, I'm old.
Nov 30, 2011
November was pretty
Labels:
Franco,
Kangaroo Coffee Co.,
Milo,
November
0
comments
I bet this will be my last post for this month. Makes sense since today is the 30th, the last day of the month, and I say this month has been good to me, all too pretty to be forgotten.
Highlights:
*spent the first night of the month with my old friends (high school) and even watched Praybeyt Benjamin with them
Highlights:
*spent the first night of the month with my old friends (high school) and even watched Praybeyt Benjamin with them
*ran for 5 kilometers together with my siblings, and my best friend plus her siblings at the Milo Marathon
*my brother won as 1st runner-up as their school's Mr. Intrams with the help of our dear friends who were kind enough to support my brother, especially to my best friend, Krissie
*saw Franco perform, live!
*finally discovered a place in Davao where tea is served generously at a very cheap price: Kangaroo Coffee Company
The month gave me lots of chances to spend time with the most important people in my life, my family (friends are family, too), despite the busy schedule in the office which makes me rant too much. But my rants gave me inspiration, too! To be my own boss. To start a business with my best friend. Ha-ha
A silly idea, but seriously, I really want to make this idea of ours work in the near future. We're still planning on it though, and we're giving ourselves enough time to think, and think, and think it over again, and again, and again. I will blog about it as soon as I can.
Happy Bonifacio Day!
Tomorrow is my sister's 23rd birthday! I miss her so much. I miss you, Ate Kaka :)
On the 2nd is my other sister's birthday! Come home soon! I'll treat you at Lachi's and Sushi Dito!
*and because my sister, Kaka, is in the U.S. of A right now (still studying) they will both be celebrating their birthdays on the same day! (1st of December in the U.S. falls on the 2nd here in the Philippines because of the 12-hour time difference) I love you both, Kaka and Kikits! :*
Enjoy the rest of the week! :)
That's me. Don't laugh.
Nov 28, 2011
Awkward
I'm twenty-one and I don't really know where I'm going.
Believe it, or not, I just finished a tv series at past 2 in the morning and had a serious struggle with myself and a fight with our cat. I don't know whichever sounded weirder and I can still here myself palpitating.
Is this just the post-series effect when you get to absorb everything, especially the end part, and force yourself to relate to what you have just watched? Or is it just me, getting all paranoid about it? And it seems like I am because I even used the TV series' title as this post's title.
(11/27/11 - past 9pm)
(I wrote this last night but I fell asleep while typing)
I feel better now and realized that my mind just got all wobbly due to sleeping late, effect of caffeine from yesterday.
The loud noise of the wind just now is trying to send me to sleep, reminding me that tomorrow is another working day. But this book I'm holding wants me to read through it until my eyes say no. I couldn't care less and I've checked my alarm already. 4.45am, it says. I have 6 hours.
(11/28/11)
I fell asleep, yet again, while typing a supposed continuation of the post. That's pretty normal, though. My friends get amazed on how I can sleep anywhere at any time. May it be in the classroom, sitting on my chair with my head on the desk, having a class or not. Teachers may say it's unfair on their part, but I can't help it, it's a bit if heaven while on a boring or maybe not-so-boring lecture. It's an escape from the harsh world of the academe. That's how I felt back then. But not now. Not anymore.
Believe it, or not, I just finished a tv series at past 2 in the morning and had a serious struggle with myself and a fight with our cat. I don't know whichever sounded weirder and I can still here myself palpitating.
Is this just the post-series effect when you get to absorb everything, especially the end part, and force yourself to relate to what you have just watched? Or is it just me, getting all paranoid about it? And it seems like I am because I even used the TV series' title as this post's title.
(11/27/11 - past 9pm)
(I wrote this last night but I fell asleep while typing)
I feel better now and realized that my mind just got all wobbly due to sleeping late, effect of caffeine from yesterday.
The loud noise of the wind just now is trying to send me to sleep, reminding me that tomorrow is another working day. But this book I'm holding wants me to read through it until my eyes say no. I couldn't care less and I've checked my alarm already. 4.45am, it says. I have 6 hours.
(11/28/11)
I fell asleep, yet again, while typing a supposed continuation of the post. That's pretty normal, though. My friends get amazed on how I can sleep anywhere at any time. May it be in the classroom, sitting on my chair with my head on the desk, having a class or not. Teachers may say it's unfair on their part, but I can't help it, it's a bit if heaven while on a boring or maybe not-so-boring lecture. It's an escape from the harsh world of the academe. That's how I felt back then. But not now. Not anymore.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
