Where would I be if not here? What if I took the chances I just
let slip when I was younger? What if I developed a passion for writing and made
it the foundation of all the choices I've made in life? I could have been a
journalist now. Or an editor. But no, it couldn’t have been me.
What if I took interest in the medical field before? Back in
high school I once mentioned that I would be taking up nursing in college, it
was quite the thing back then. But it was something I have not really pondered
on.
I finished high school without any clear goal in mind. My NCAE results said a major in
Psychology or Social Work would suit me. Psychology was my first choice
when I applied for a university I had eyed on, but my college entrance
exam results made me qualify for a major
in Communication Arts. Maybe I was really made for the arts. But maybe
not. It was a last minute decision, I enrolled in a different university and
got a major that was totally alien for me: Accounting.
I ended up flunking a 6-unit major subject in 1st semester
of my second year, the only failing final grade I got in my whole university
life, which eventually forced me to shift: a major in Management Accounting. I
loathed every moment of it. I knew it wasn't really for me but I didn't take it
as an opportunity to shift to a different field.
I was no brilliant kid at school. I had no awards received,
in the academe or not. I was an average kid who just wanted to get through. I
had no sport. I joined clubs merely for the sake of it. Maybe if I had
continued my performance in grade school (yes, I see that smirk on your face), I
would have been a better student. But who's to blame…
I don't know. I regret things, but I also don't. Maybe
career-wise, it's more of my pessimistic side that's overpowering right now,
especially in my current status: unemployed. But I've had no regrets in all the
people I've met and known along the way, they've made me who I am.
I've landed an office job two weeks after our graduation
day. It nearly consumed me. I quit after a year and ended up in another office
job, after a year of rest (and gaining my 18 units in graduate studies which I was
never really interested in). Then again, I quit after two years in the banking
industry.
Right now, I'm wasting my time trying to reflect on what the
hell do I really want to do with this life and overthink a lot, lot. And also
wanting to tend my own vegetable garden and give you good food to eat.
