Today, at two o'clock in the morning, I woke up from a very bad dream. Tragic even. Imagine seeing your significant other getting too close with someone who's definitely not you. Then you see him/her laughing beautifully, singing him/her a song, and talking to him/her as if the world only revolves around the other, and you're just there, a few meters away. Then he looks at you, smiling. You call him and he comes closer to you, then you whisper, "Oh, does this mean that I can't sing songs with you in your car anymore? Drive around town with you? Talk and laugh with you like you two do now?" then he answers, "yea, we're no longer together". That's when you come to realize that your relationship has already ended. Does that not break your heart? Does the sight of them not make you want to shed a tear or two? I know this rarely happens in real life, how things exactly unfolded. Because it was a dream, obviously. But in my dream, right after that moment, I felt as if it was too hard for me to breathe. I almost cried then went out of sight. It seemed too real!
I woke up and cried. Then it hit me. I realized how much I love this person. And how sad I would be to see him with another person and let him go. I immediately sent him a message and just in time for his birthday. I sent him a short birthday greeting (because I have a longer one in a letter to be given later hehe) and sent him another one telling him about my dream. I tried my best to get back to sleep but the memory of that dream vividly repeats in my mind. But sleep still won over it, of course, I'm still me. Haha!
I think my dream wanted to remind me to treasure my loved ones while they're still with me, spend it as if it's our last just to let them know that they're valued and would do anything to keep them. And how it sucks seeing them(him) giggling with a new girl. Haha! Masakit talaga bes, sobra, tas dun mo pa narealize na di na pala kayo. Parang bigla ka nalang namatay kaya yata kayo di nagusap na maghiwalay tas biglang may bago na siyang ka-landian! Jusko! Saket! I thought it would be easy for me to let go of someone once ayaw na nila because that's what I've been telling him na if ayaw na, kumalas na agad, tas yun na panaginip lang, di pala ganun kadali! Haha!
I recall this one time, when I told him that diba if you really love the person, you have to let him/her go? He answered me this "hay nako saang palabas/libro mo na naman yan nakuha. Alam mo, mali yan, wag ka masyadong padala diyan sa mga kdrama/libro mo kasi kapag love mo ang tao, gagawin mo ang lahat para di siya mawala sayo". Boom, clap! The sound of my heart, the beat goes on and on and on and on and... because I am a competitive person (ay gusto ko lang talaga tama ako) I replied "ay basta! ewan ko! Yun naman talaga dapat eh." hahaha! Talo na eh.
Today, he's celebrating his 26th birthday and this is the 4th time that we'll be celebrating it together and I just wanted to tell myself (kasi di niya naman to mababasa) again and again and again that I love him like super kaduper bahala na anong ka cornyhan nanaman tong pinaggagagawa ko at pagsisisihan ko na naman kinabukasan. Basta, Dong, mahal kita. Happy birthday!

Photo taken at Lake Holon, South Cotabato (22/04/2017)