It's been over a week since my last glimpse of your face, peacefully resting, yet I still don't have the courage to even visit the place where your body dwells. It's still too hard for me. There are times when I'm alone and I just think of you, trying to accept the fact that you're really gone but the mere thought of it pains me even more. It pains my heart not having had the chance to even let you know that I love you. I've deprived you of the only thing that you asked from me: communication. I blame it on my egoistic being. And I've been hating myself ever since. I hate myself for not even being there when you were all alone, when you felt that the world has turned it's back on you. I was one of then who contributed to your heartaches. I was supposed to be your bestfriend. But where was I when you needed me? I turned my back and left you. All these guilt come creeping in everyday. I can never forgive myself for what I've done.
I've read your last messages on my phone and my heart was crushed to tiny pieces. I couldn't bring them back together. Broken.
I'm sorry for everything. I really am.
I hope and pray that The Lord guides you to your permanent resting place, by His side. I love you forever, Monteza.
I am thankful to have had a genuine friendship with you. I am missing you everyday. Goodbye for now, my good friend.
2 comments:
Missing a friend whom you've spent most of your entire life is fucking painful. I visit his graveyard like everyday, hoping this would ease the pain. But it didn't. Oh well, life goes on. I'm really grateful that I know of someone who makes saying goodbye so fucking hard.
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